Of GOD and pc Crashes

the world is asleep
everything is quiet
everything is calm
everything is in peace
everything but my mind.
my mind goes crazy
i wanna cry out for help
but nobody will hear
so I don't bother.
i stare into space beyond
comprehension
i lie in bed.
i want to sleep because doing
so is the only way i can
escape momentarily.

these are the times i hate
the most. when what you
want to face is lost in the
night and time stops
so you can't face it.
i pour out my soul into the void
because i am empty inside.
i try to find distractions because
they are the only way to stop
thinking...but in the end i loose.
i am caught up in the moment.
i don't know how to think
or how to feel.
i want to let go but I cannot.

i am trapped.
trapped until the sun rises...
by then I would be weak.
i would have gotten so out of control.
i would have lost it.
i would love to face it head on
but I cannot.
i look off into the oblivion.
i don't wanna think about consequences.
i don't wanna think.
i don't wanna find out
i have gone through this before,
numerous times. But I have never learned.
we are never given warnings when
we need them the most.
i hate starting over.
i usually do...after months of daze.
i go on. my body goes on, but me,
or whatever keeps me going is dead.


then all of a sudden i asked myself
how come my fuel ran out?
Only then did I realize
I was running on the wrong fuel
If ever there should be any motivational
factor for anyone, we should choose
one that won't die. choose something
that we can count on.
something that won't kill you inside.
something that doesn't crank up,
something that doesn't break you like this.


then suddenly it rains...
and the silence is broken up by the patter
of raindrops on the ground outside.
the rain will always fall.
the sun will always rise.
life will go on.
be prepared to go on with it.